Perception Is Reality: 8 Steps for Changing How Others See You

“Joel’s executive coaching helped me quickly adapt to a new role in a demanding company culture. His suggestions were always valuable and valid. I found his PVI-Model (Perception, Visibility, and Influence) framework and strategies to be particularly helpful.”

Jonathan Graham, Product Manager, Enterprise Platforms, Netflix

James is an up-and-coming sales manager for a Fortune 500 company. He sees himself as outgoing, friendly, fast-moving—a real deal-maker. However, some of the people he works with, as well as some of his clients, see him as a fast-talking backslapper and a bit of a phony. Which perception is accurate? And why does it matter?

The “perception is reality” adage is most often applied to the way each of us sees our own environment. If we see the glass as half full, we will operate from that reality and the glass will always be at least half full. But what if we turn that adage inside out? What if the reality we’re experiencing is due in part to how others perceive us?

Definition of Perception at Work

Carly Fiorina, former chair and CEO of Hewlett-Packard, once stated: “Leadership is a performance. You have to be conscious about your behavior, because everyone else is.” This is a good definition of perception.

Let’s revisit James for a moment. He sees himself as a deal-maker, but lately the deals have been drying up. He’s having trouble getting appointments, even getting clients to return his phone calls. And the people on his team are leaving him out of important conversations and meetings. James is in serious need of a perception correction. But how do we create the “me” we want others to see? How do we change perceptions?

Perception Impacts Reality. Change How Others See You By following These Proven 8 Tips

It all starts with behavior. Become aware of your behaviors through the following steps so you’ll understand how you’re perceived—and how to correct course, if needed.

1 – Observe how your behavior affects others.

Start by being honest with yourself. Notice how your behavior affects those around you. How do people react to you in meetings? In the coffee room or at lunch? If clients are not returning your calls, perhaps your behavior is making them feel pressured or uncomfortable.

2 – Ask for feedback.

Ask others how they see you. It takes courage, and you may get some feedback that is hard to hear, but it’s an important step in creating a new perception.

3 – Make behavioral changes immediately.

Once you have some basic information, take small steps toward behavioral change. If you’re the type who usually dominates the conversation in meetings or groups, try keeping absolutely quiet and taking notes for a change. If you usually hang back and let others take the spotlight, write down some key points that are relevant to the topic being discussed and speak up. Perceptions will not change overnight, but you will begin to notice that others are reacting differently.

4 – Up your visibility.

If you want high visibility, you have to do what it takes to become visible. Start by volunteering for high-impact projects. Look for a tough job that nobody wants to tackle, or something that’s been languishing but that you know is important to your boss or the company as a whole. If you see the company putting a lot of time and energy into a new idea or venture, get involved.

5 – Seek out cross-functional opportunities.

Identify opportunities with other departments that will increase your visibility, such as a project or task force that will give you a chance to see and be seen by people you wouldn’t meet otherwise. Offer to make presentations or speak to groups, both inside and outside the company.

6 – Promote yourself.

You might be the best employee in the world, but if your contributions go unnoticed, it won’t matter. You need people who will speak positively about you and your accomplishments. This can happen on many fronts, but it begins when you speak up for yourself. This does not mean uncontrolled bragging about everything you do. It does mean sharing wins openly to raise your visibility, and sharing credit with coworkers and team members. Tell success stories and celebrate accomplishments.

7 – Seek out advocates.

Identify advocates who will speak up on your behalf. Ask your boss to publicize your work with his own boss and others above him on the corporate ladder. Look for opportunities to expose your work to corporate leaders. If, like James, you work with clients or vendors outside your company, ask for their endorsement and referrals.

8 – Promote your personal brand.

You are the CEO of You, Inc. You are responsible for creating your personal brand, for getting your name known, for being memorable. You can do this in dozens of ways, both large and small. Branding “You” can involve anything from developing a unique signature line on your emails to becoming an expert who is quoted in industry publications and asked to speak at seminars and meetings.

The perception others have of you will not change overnight. And once a change is made, it won’t necessarily stay that way. Creating a positive perception of yourself takes commitment as well as consistent action to develop and refine the image you want the world to see. Commit to making this effort, and seek out motivational books that keep you on track, and you’ll ignite your growth as a leader.

Client Story: How Cassidy Turned Negative Perceptions Around

Cassidy had overheard some snide comments about her. She knew people were making snap judgements, based on gossip, that just weren’t true. How could she change negative work perceptions and get her coworkers to think more positively about her?

She knew she was a good team player and worked hard for the company. What did she need to do to help others see her in this light?

Cassidy contacted me for support, and together we discussed the personal brand she wanted to cultivate. We then reviewed the negative comments she’d heard and decided how she could respond in a way that supported her desired image. Here’s how she addressed each negative perception.

1 – No backbone.

Hadn’t she stood up for her idea in the last meeting? Yes, she had. But the person who made this comment wasn’t at the meeting. He had seen her agreeing with the boss on several other positions that he disagreed with. Cassidy thought of herself as a team player. She collaborated well with others. She decided she would be more visible in both the support and the push-back she gave to others. In her written communications—which would certainly go to her critic—she would be clear with her reasoning both when she agreed and when she disagreed on a topic.

2 – Doesn’t speak up or share.

Cassidy recognized that she often was the quiet one at meetings. As an introvert, sometimes it took time to think an idea through. She didn’t want to speak until she’d considered all the angles. By that time, others had already said what she wanted to say. Again, Cassidy felt her written communications could help change that negative perception. She also decided she could go to meetings better prepared. She could consider possible ideas and processes and come up with opinions she could share to generate discussion.

3 – Doesn’t really add value to the company.

That one hurt! Negative perceptions like this could grind her career to a screeching halt. Cassidy though of herself as modest. She didn’t go around bragging all the time. However, she realized she needed to be more open about what she was accomplishing. It was important to let her boss and her coworkers know exactly what she was working on, the effort she was putting into it, and the results she was producing. Cassidy also enlisted a mentor to advocate for her, promoting her work to higher-ups.

4 – Narrow perspective.

Cassidy had been with the company long enough to know how they wanted things done. Maybe it did look like she didn’t think outside the box. But to her, it made sense to stay focused on what had worked successfully in the past. Cassidy decided to be more open to looking at other ideas and trying to come up with more unconventional ideas that meshed with the company’s goals.

Cassidy worked hard to change the negative perceptions she’d heard about herself in the office. More recently, she has been pleased to hear some very positive comments about her work and presence in the company. When asking for honest feedback from coworkers, she learned that their perception of her ability to add value, speak up effectively, and assert her opinions when others may disagree has indeed changed for the better.

Shifting perceptions of you at work is the first step of the PVI model, a proven method for achieving career success that involves building perception, visibility, and influence. Like Cassidy, you can change negative perceptions into positive ones by strategically changing your behaviors. It’s well worth the effort, as it will expand your sphere of influence and open new possibilities for your career.

Interested in executive coaching program? Joel’s tried-and-true strategies have helped people at all levels to achieve ambitious career goals and thrive as leaders.